Friday, January 1, 2016

What Depression Does To Me

I love to do lots of things. I love reading, and hiking, exploring new places, trying new recipes and crafts. I love playing video games, especially the kinds where you put time and thought into creating a character or building something. I love to write stories and characters for my tabletop gaming group, creating new areas for them to explore, cool weird people for them to meet.

But when I'm depressed? I like sleeping, maybe reading, and watching TV shows and movies that don't ask much from me. Cartoons like Bob's Burgers, movies like Anne Of Green Gables. Comforting and easy. I'm capable of seeing the enjoyment I WOULD have in things. Games still look interesting, I just don't have the energy to play them. Food still tastes good, but I'd rather nap than cook.  Of course I also fight a virus everyday that saps most of my energy before I can think about spending it productively, but I can't ignore the depression is a factor too.

What helps? Sleep, getting enough rest, allowing myself to enjoy laying still, doing nothing, without feeling guilty. Eating right, good food, without a ton of sugar. And Greg, making food for me, cuddling with me, gently suggesting things we can do, without making me feel bad for not having the energy, physically or mentally if I say no. Greg most of all. He's awesome.

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