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Fallen London (Free browser game/story) 

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Daily Journal PDF 
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Whole-ish 30 Day 5

So, we bailed on Whole 30. Kinda. We've both felt terrible for the last five days. Foggy, tired, cranky. None of it fun. We wanted to try the Whole 30 challenge as a way to improve our health, and while it may have in the long run, we don't have a month we can give up to feeling extra exhausted. We've decided instead to focus on whole, healthy foods, continuing to eliminate grains, sugar and dairy (with the exception of coconut sugar in Greg's coffee, Splenda in my tea, and heavy cream in both.)

We also went to the coffee shop and got a giant iced sugar-free white coffee. We both feel SO much better. I even had the energy to cook dinner, Beef gravy (made with tapioca starch.) Baked potatoes fried in the pan.  And a huge bunch of kale sauteed with olive oil, salt and lemon juice at the end.

We were SO HAPPY to get coffee.

This isn't "in the spirit" of Whole 30. They intend for you to follow their plan completely, no exceptions, no excuses. Maybe trying this in the middle of one of my Epstein Barr flare-ups was a bad decision. I think if we had the time to devote to the method, no matter how we were feeling, we would have pushed through. 

Whole 30 Day 4

What we ate

Fried pork + Potatoes
Baked Yams + Unsweetened Applesauce
Epic Apple Bacon Bar
Balti Beef (Whole 30 Version)
Fried Banana
Scrambled Eggs

We've definitely been too light on the veggies, and done more than a little psychological cheating, but we haven't eaten anything off the lists, despite severe sugar cravings from both of us.

We had friends over for dinner, and Greg made Balti Beef without yogurt, sugar, or chutney. It was really good still. We watched Mulan and Hoodwinked, while our friend's toddler helped us take the unbreakable ornaments off our mini tree. She was very sweet, taking them off one at a time and put them in their "box".

Whole 30 Day 3

What I Ate

Fried Cauliflower "Rice" with Pork and Eggs
Trader Joe's Plantain Chips
Banana, Cherry, Cranberry + Coconut Milk Smoothie
Fried Chicken + Potatoes
Iced Tea + Almond Milk
1/4 a Baked Potato with Pork

Today was easier mentally than yesterday, but I did call in to work and took a nap again in the afternoon. Greg watched the game at his dad's house and made another Whole 30 dinner over there. He brought me chicken and potatoes.

It might be a psychological cheat, but we bought almond milk to put in our tea. I've missed the creaminess of half and half even more than sugar or sweeteners. I think there's a strong emotional connection for me with creamy drinks and comfort. I usually put half and half in my tea even when it's iced. I went crazy over the milk tea they had in vending machines when I was in Japan. Sweeteners are out when on the Whole 30, but I think when we're done I'm going to have one glass a day of coconut sugar sweetened milk tea.

(Check out the Tokyo airport sushi. It was stamped by the hour and incredibly delicious.)

Whole 30 Day 2

What I ate

LOTS...

Italian Roast Pork + Fried Eggs
Coconut Cream Pie Lara Bar
Banana Bread Lara Bar
Baked Potato + Mayo, Nutritional Yeast
Banana, Cranberry, Cherry, Grapefruit + Coconut Milk Smoothie
Turkey + Roasted Veggies

Very stressful day, went to work for a hour before calling Greg to come get me. I ate TWO Lara bars while waiting, both were okay ingredient-wise, but kinda a cheat psychologically.  Took a four hour nap in the afternoon while Greg had dinner (Whole 30 compliant) at his mother's house. He brought home some turkey and veggies for me, they were delicious.

What Depression Does To Me

I love to do lots of things. I love reading, and hiking, exploring new places, trying new recipes and crafts. I love playing video games, especially the kinds where you put time and thought into creating a character or building something. I love to write stories and characters for my tabletop gaming group, creating new areas for them to explore, cool weird people for them to meet.

But when I'm depressed? I like sleeping, maybe reading, and watching TV shows and movies that don't ask much from me. Cartoons like Bob's Burgers, movies like Anne Of Green Gables. Comforting and easy. I'm capable of seeing the enjoyment I WOULD have in things. Games still look interesting, I just don't have the energy to play them. Food still tastes good, but I'd rather nap than cook.  Of course I also fight a virus everyday that saps most of my energy before I can think about spending it productively, but I can't ignore the depression is a factor too.

What helps? Sleep, getting enough rest, allowing myself to enjoy laying still, doing nothing, without feeling guilty. Eating right, good food, without a ton of sugar. And Greg, making food for me, cuddling with me, gently suggesting things we can do, without making me feel bad for not having the energy, physically or mentally if I say no. Greg most of all. He's awesome.

Whole 30 Day 1

What we learned today: Plantains are NOT like bananas, they are much more difficult to peel.

Our food processor does not have a "continuous" setting. You have to stand there like a dork and hold the "chop" button for ten minutes if you want to make coconut butter.

Reading the labels on EVERYTHING is important during a food challenge. "Better Than Bullion" is delicious when mixed with chicken drippings and poured over acorn squash... but not Whole 30 compliant.

"Well, we can always officially start tomorrow, and have hot cocoa tonight..."
Leads to mini migraines.

"Try again tomorrow" is a valid response to failure today.

What We Ate Today

Fried Plantains
Baked Yam + Coconut Butter
Baked Chicken Thighs and Baked Acorn Squash

Lots of water, a little bit of tea,

And the very delicious, but almost instantly regretted, hot cocoa made with fudge.